Relationship Communication is Everywhere
Communication
Main Entry: com·mu·ni·ca·tion
Pronunciation: k?-"myü-n?-'kA-sh?n
Function: noun
1: an act or instance of transmitting
2a: information communicated b: a verbal or written message
3a: a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior ; also: exchange of information b: personal rapport
4 plural a: a system (as of telephones) for communicating b: a system of routes for moving troops, supplies, and vehicles c : personnel engaged in communicating
5 plural but singular or plural in construction a: a technique for expressing ideas effectively (as in speech) b: the technology of the transmission of information (as by print or telecommunication)
- com·mu·ni·ca·tion·al /-shn&l, -sh&-n&l/ adjective
- http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=communication

Relationship communication. It sounds ordinary enough, but if you look closely at it, I’m sure you’ll see how important it is to life. Whether you know it or not, there is always some kind of relationship communication going on – it may be below the surface, or it might be right out in the open, but there are so many different methods to list. A mother or father and a child display it. Your boss and you do it. Two total strangers do it, too. There’s relationship communication going on between two friends or between two lovers.
Now, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary entry above shows how important communication is to physical, energy and spiritual movement. Without any relationship communication progress would slow and eventually stop. Ideas, inventions, businesses and relationships are all dependent on communication. I certainly don’t think relationship communication has to deal specifically with people you're closely connected to, since there’s so much more to it than that. Relationship communication has the power to alter your life – for the better or the worse. Simple things like eye contact with a stranger all the way up to a major business deal.
As you age, communication becomes much more detailed and complex. If you stop to think about it, a newborn communicates closely with his or her mother, but the verbal skills are lacking. The newborn communicates through body language and crying. But, what about the fetus growing inside the womb? There’s communication going on there as well. When the mother eats something spicy, a baby might kick. But, there is always a sense of love, a bond, between the mother and the baby.
“Relationship communication is overrated and undervalued,” a good friend of mine said when we were talking about it a little while ago. It’s a pretty contradictory statement, but I have to agree.
Now, there’s a lot more to relationship communication. I’ve barely even touched on the topic, but I don’t want to limit anyone’s thoughts on the topic. So, I’ll go ahead and finish where I started: With a quote from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
Relationship
Main Entry: re·la·tion·ship
Pronunciation: -sh&n-"ship
Function: noun
1: the state of being related or interrelated
2: the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: as a: KINSHIP b: a specific instance or type of kinship
3a: a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings b: a romantic or passionate attachment
- http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/relationship
Jennifer Kelton is a writer and CEO. She dispenses her dating advice on DailyDatingAdvice.com . Through her social research and own practical experience, Jennifer has become an expert on relationship communication, which she shares in her books and articles.


Why living together before marrying is a terrible idea
This may offend some people, but it's just an opinion based on some statistics and from looking at real-world relationships. So, please do read with an open mind, even if you do not agree with the points made here.
Statistics demonstrate that most people who cohabit usually don’t ever marry, or the marriage generally ends in divorce. Many individuals (especially women) are doing themselves ill service by living with a partner in a non-platonic relationship, without being married. Some people argue that marriage is only a piece of paper signed and or meaningless. The part about being a piece of paper is partially true. The truth is when someone marries someone it's much more than that! Individuals are expressing to each other that they truly love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together.
One of the many reasons divorce rates are so high amongst people who have "shacked up" before marrying is that they anticipate that things will change after they are married. Some people believe that ultimately being married will all of a sudden make life seem perfect and the other person will change. The reality for most is that it does not happen. This disappointment is ultimately what makes many individuals to end the marriage.
Many men who living together never ending up marrying because many men simply don't feel the need to. If you look at it from a man's perspective, he is basically getting everything (and probably more than) a wife would give him without marriage, so why should he even bother? There is a comfort zone mostly for men who live with women they're not married to. There is no actual (or legal) commitment. He can leave whenever he wants with much less guilty feelings than if it was his wife. Women are most likely to want to marry as she knows in her subconscious mind of the fear that he may pick up his bags and leave at any time without too much emotional hassle.
This may sound brutal to some women, but there is a difference on how live-in girlfriends and wives are looked at by men. A man is much less likely to leave his wife than he is to leave his girlfriend. Men do leave their wives of course, but for the most part, men are much more likely to leave their girlfriends more easily and without guilt. It's a similar principal for men cheating on their girlfriend verses their wife. Again, this unquestionably happens where some men cheat on their wives, but a man will feel less guilty about cheating on his girlfriend then his wife.
The best solution is to not living together with someone if you are looking for a possible marriage partner. This will benefit women more than men, but it helps the marriage overall for both partners.
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How to Handle a Cheater
Copyright (c) 2007 Lucia D
Finding out someone you're in a committed relationship with is being unfaithful can be devastating. You're caught up in a whirlwind of fears and emotions. How should you handle this situation? As usual, I have a rather unorthodox approach.
Have you ever seen the show "Cheaters"? I used to consider it a guilty pleasure until I realized it contained a wealth of knowledge for someone like me. "Cheaters" follows a "suspect" when their partner thinks they may be cheating. After gathering enough videotaped evidence, the suspecting partner (cheatee), the host, a tv crew consisting of several cameras and a lot of security confront the cheater in the act. This can be at a bar, nightclub, restaurant, hotel room, parked car, etc.
After watching the show for many months, I began to notice a pattern. During the confrontation, one of three scenarios will usually take place. About 80% of the time, the cheater has the opposite reaction to that of their partner. This means, if the cheatee is upset and emotional, making comments such as, "How could you?" "I gave you everything you wanted", the cheater has an attitude, often gets angry and sometimes runs away. The person they've been cheating with usually had no idea they were involved in a triangle. It also works in reverse, in that if the cheatee says, "That's it. It's over. I'm done" the cheater usually responds with, "I'm sorry. I love you. Let's work it out." The remaining 20% of the time, both parties agree � they either both want to stay together or they both say they're done.
From this pattern, I think it's easy to see that when confronting an unfaithful partner, you should remain as calm as possible. This is a lot easier to do if you don't actually catch them in the act, but find out when they're not around. Resist the urge to immediately call them up and demand an explanation. Do not contact them until you have calmed down and have decided exactly what you're going to do. This can range from a day (wait a minimum of 24 hours) to a week or more.
I once found out through a third party that a guy I was seeing was cheating. This was the second time I had caught him, so while the emotional side of me didn't want to let go, intellectually, I knew it had to be over for good. We had had a disagreement the day before I found out, so we did not speak to each other for about 10 days. In that time, I walked around like a zombie, feeling very weak, not wanting to eat. I was grieving the loss of the relationship.
When he finally showed up at my door, I was done. He tried to claim the person was a friend, but I didn't buy it. I was very calm and went about my business in the kitchen, while he stood there trying to lie his way out of it. After a few minutes I waved my hand and said, "Go away. I'm busy." His response, "I'll see you later." Me: No you won't. Him: So it's over? Me: Yes!
What if you catch your partner in the act? My suggestion is that you say and do nothing. Simply look them in the eye, with no expression, then turn and walk away. I know 99% of you reading this are not going to be able to do it, but if you really want to know the truth, you need to let them show you what it is, either through their actions or non-actions. Losing control by yelling and causing a scene is never attractive, even if you feel justified. Put yourself in their shoes. If you were the one caught cheating, which reaction would shake you up more? Which reaction would you respect more?
When you freak out, you're actually trying to bully and manipulate your partner into reacting to you in a way that will assure you that they still care for you. You're like a child having a temper tantrum in order to get the attention you don't feel you're getting. You're also giving their ego a big boost. Your actions are saying: You are so important to me that I am willing to lose control and act temporarily insane. You have that much power over me. Is that really the message you want to send?
That's why saying nothing and walking away is a better reaction. As we learned from "Cheaters", they are more likely to be apologetic and want to work things out (if that's what you want) if you remain calm. By not having to defend themselves against your tirade, you give them the space to get in touch with their true feelings for you and your relationship. Not to mention the fact that their respect for you will rise immensely, since it takes strength to just walk away. We all want to be with someone that is emotionally strong.
Even if they've run after you and pleaded to talk to you, that is not the time to talk. You need to get over the shock of your discovery and they need to think about what they've done. You now need to be "incommunicado". The reason for this is because when people think they've lost someone that was important to them, their true feelings come out. It's the old, "Don't know what you've got till it's gone". If they care, they will do whatever they have to, to get you back. If they don't, they won't and you're better off without them. Don't take their calls or answer the door until you're convinced that they're ready to be honest. Leave them wondering for at least a week or two.
If it does turn out that your partner had already moved on, but neglected to tell you, at least you walk away with your dignity, if you don't freak out. Why give them proof that their decision to leave was right, by acting like a psycho? If you cause a scene, you will forever be in their relationship hall of shame. If you walk away with your head held high, you will forever be in their relationship hall of fame.

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Lucia is a dating/relationship expert, syndicated columnist, author of "Lucia's Lessons of Love" and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love". For more information, go to: http://www.lessonsoflove.net